I’m far beyond lucky to have gotten Courage and to have met Carol, Chris, Karen and all of you who are doing this. For the last 4 years I’ve become increasingly withdrawn, substance dependent and struck with a fear that goes beyond all reason. Most days I’m pretty much useless in any endeavors and am stuck inside my head running the same scenes over and over again in my mind.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2010. Nightmares, paranoia, dozens of meds and a constant nagging fear. One of my shrinks told me about Guardian Angels and I told my wife – Susie- in passing about it. She encouraged me to move forward with it and when she came up here to visit Carol and the dogs she was a firm believer!
I received Courage March of 2013. Just before getting him I got cold feet and figured that I didn’t deserve this ‘gift’; didn’t need the help and would probably screw it all up anyway. Carol assured me that I wouldn’t and I came up to meet Courage and train how to be a handler. I have insomnia but when we got into the hotel room that night, I lay down on the bed, Courage hopped up on the bed and was facing the door and window and I went right to sleep! From the first night the quality of my nightmares has changed. They’re still there but not as frequent and not as brutal. I’ve gone to sleep ‘spooning’ with Courage and slept the night away.
I should mention that after the first week I thought that I was screwing things up and brought him back to give him to someone more deserving. Carol and Karen gently talked me down and reminded me that Courage was wearing a vest, not a Superman cape. Time takes time and so I’m learning and getting better.
I’ve cut out or cut down the majority of my meds and I can go outside of the house for extended periods of time. “BC” –Before Courage – I would go to one store or Doctor’s appointment and then straight back home. Now, I find myself out and about for hours at a time, sometimes with no real destination – just out!!! When I worked the K-9 unit in Thailand I would go every where with my dog. I’m getting that way with Courage too! It’s hard to admit that you need help and even harder for me to accept it.
Carol you’ve given me something that even the Wizard of Oz couldn’t give the Cowardly Lion: Courage
Very few people in the world are as loving and as selfless as you are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Eddie, Susan and Courage